Recently I was sitting with someone I admire and they were reviewing some work I had done for them. As they spoke I found myself crossing my legs, tapping my foot and playing uncomfortably with my pen. I also found myself struggling to make eye contact, which rarely happens.
The words kept flowing from her. Comment after comment about the work that I had done.
This was kind of difficult to take in.
It was a waterfall of continuous compliments. Literally – non-stop compliments about the work I had done.
I tried to deflect – saying that we all were amazing together It wasn’t just me.
I tried to return – saying that it is such a gift to work with someone so amazing.
But after a while, I had nothing left. It was just awkward. I had to accept these amazing words all directed towards me. For me being me.
Why on earth was this so difficult? If she has sat there and told me all of the ways I could improve, I would have listened intently, taken notes and worked on my self-improvement model. But this was not like that at all. There was nothing to improve upon. Omg.
I think we all have an under developed “I’m F’n Amazing” muscle and an over developed “I’m not worthy” muscle.
This really needs to shift.
In the book, The Power of Receiving, Amanda Owen writes, “While the Giver archetype is celebrated in our culture, the Receiver is almost wholly unknown. The result? Busyness is a virtue. “ So true. Cultivating a life of doing and doing for others leads us down a path that thwarts our ability to receive. This ability to receive shows up in crazy places. It can be gifts, good health, relaxing and even receiving the gift of true love.
Owen writes, “The only possible match for someone who doesn’t know how to receive is someone who doesn’t know how to give.” That statement alone speaks volumes and begs us to ask ourselves, what value is there in not being someone who won’t’ open up to receiving?
There is no martyrdom nor are there any awards in being an over-giver. There is just an imbalance.
All of life depends on a flow of give and receive to properly flourish and thrive and we are no exception.
It is time to open the doors and let your all your joys in and receive them with honor! You deserve it!
So….in closing…If you want to praise this post, feel free to email me at Elizabeth@elizabethtuckwell.com – I am open to receive!
Big Hug Amazing you!
Elizabeth Tuckwell is the founder of Art With Intention a site devoted to creative expression and personal peace. She is also an accomplished Abstract Artist and her work can be viewed at Elizabethtuckwell.com.
Also published on Medium.